The A$$hole And His Dog

This is a story about an A$$hole, one which I had the un-pleasurable experience of running into today.

Cat Food. That's All I Want.

Tonight I went to my local pet store to get some food for my cat as he was jumping all around the house trying to get my attention that he was hungry. So I jumped in the SUV and arrived in the parking lot. About 60 feet ahead of me was an overweight, short man dressed in dark clothing, about 50 years old along with an old oversized short legged black dog.

As I approached the open parking spot, I caught sight of him and slowed down, headlights on, blasting right at him, now some 25 feet out.

Surprisingly, he isn't startled nor does he pause to take notice that I am approaching. Instead, he chooses to proceed to walk in front of me without acknowledgement. My initial reaction was, "Hello? Do you see me? At least acknowledge it out of courtesy."

So I stopped and waited for what seemed like an eternity (20-30 seconds) for him to pass. He continued to walk with his dog, head down, hunched over. Then, of all things, he decides to stop right adjacent to my parking spot.

I slowly proceed to park, fully knowing he and his dog is wandering on a leash.

A Conversation With An Azzhole

After I parked and got out of my SUV, the guy came up to me and shouted, "Did you see I had a dog?!!!" I said "Yes, and I slowed down and gave you right of way. Did you not see me?" (notice the IQ of this guy. He speaks in past tense).

Unbelievably, he then started to scream like no tomorrow - all the way into the store entrance following me. As the doors to the entrance opened, everyone in the store heard his cussing and ranting. They looked at me and I just shook my head and looked up, to let them know that I thought the guy was crazy.

The Farts Gets Louder

Inside the store, he got louder calling me an azzhole, pointed his finger at me and getting all up in my face. Calmly, I told him to "Chill out and get out of my face" and walked away.

"You walk away. You aren't a man. I can take you anyday!"

Oh boy. What an idiot, I thought. Given this guys body frame and how slow he walked and moved, it would have been far too easy to take this guy down and put a hurt on him. I could have, but I didn't because I quickly realized I was inside the store.

If I would have taken any action to beat the stuffing out of him, the pet store would call the police resulting in all sorts of drama (lawyers, court case, etc.). It wouldn't have been worth my time (or money) over something so stupid as this.

Instead, I decided to just leave the guy alone and proceeded with my shopping. While doing so, I could overhear the guy in the front entrance all pissed off telling customers that I didn't slow down for the guy and nearly ran over his dog. He just couldn't let go.

After checking out, I got into the car and headed out to the grocery store next door to pick up some things. I stewed as the guy really got to me. I questioned myself whether I should have kicked his ass. I came to the conclusion the guy fell into the category of Azzhats and just left it at that.

Revisiting The Stinky A$$hole

On the drive back home, I happened to see the guy wandering the parking lot with his dog again. I thought, here is my opportunity to get the last word in.

So I rolled down the window and shouted:

"Merry Christmas, a$$hole!"

The guy looked at me and stood there, puzzled. Then, as if he felt obligated to return a reply, screamed "Oh yeah! Come over here and I'll take you on!"

Moral Of The Story

Once an ahole, always an ahole. For they are too stupid to know not how to be one.

About Kerry Kobashi

Kerry is the founder of KerryOnWorld. He lives in Silicon Valley.