HP Stock Tanks On CEO Sexual Harrassment Scandal

$9 billion dollars has been erased from Hewlett Packard's market capitalization due to it's sexual harassment scandal. Mark Hurd, the now former CEO, was fired after violating HP business conduct and filing improper business expense reports.

I Need A New HP Printer Cartridge!!

Apparently, HP says its wrong for Hurd to be in a relationship with an HP contractor and that he shouldn't have submitted those candlelight dinners expenses to the company.

Really! Oh that's such corporate speak. Come on!

Office romances take place everyday in this world. Even on the desktop naked and behind closed doors. How do I know? I used to work at companies that kept closed doors and I swear I heard groaning and moaning from the people who had rooms. Oh wait, that was because the wife couldn't pick up the kids from school and daddy had to do it instead.

So Who's This Jodie Fisher?

Well according to HP, the victim was a contractor that got paid $5,000 per event to say "hi" to people and make introductions at HP events. Yes, bite your tongue and hold that thought for a moment because it gets even better,

One little peeky poo on IMDB reveals Ms. Fisher had performed in some, well, naughty naughty movies including:

• Body of Influence
• Intimate Obsession

Ms. Fisher was also in the NBC show "Age of Love" back in 2007. She was one of many contestants trying to snag pro tennis star Mark Philippoussis.

But lets not judge Jodie because she likes to star in soft porn (cough).

He Led The Company. He Made It Money. So Let's Get Rid of Him!

Let's get real here. So here's a guy that took over the reigns from Carly Fiorina and kept HP at the top of its game. Revenue increased, profits were up and the stock soared.

Every HP shareholder got rich, that is, if you sold at the peak. But lately, well, you have a reason to kick yourself if you didn't sell before the scandal. Shame on you, you greedy shareholder you. Can't you see this is a double top? (the chart silly, not her boobs)

Bad Publicity? Rather Vultures Circling Everywhere!

Was it the bad publicity that really got Mr. Hurd fired? I mean, if the HP board didn't find Mr. Hurd guilty of anything other than a few company paid social outings with Ms. Fisher, than why kick him in the ass and let the door hit hit on the way out?

Face it, Ms. Fisher likes attention and wants to be in the public spotlight. She gets huge publicity out of this as the victim. Maybe as much to land her yet another role in some cheesy rated movie.

And guess what. The economy was stimulated in just a small way in the legal world. Lawyers are now circling like vultures over upset shareholders who blame the recent 10% fall in stock price.

Golden Parachute Away!!!

Well it looks like noone loses in any of this except existing bag holders, er shareholders. Sure Mr. Hurd loses face a bit and his wife and family aren't too happy with him. Ms. Fisher gets some cash to spend on great HP/Compaq products from personal settlement from Hurd.

And I'm sure that's one expense Hurd never forget. Mooooooo!

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KerryOnWorld Member Staff